Resolutions

I have some thoughts. I don't entirely mean for these thoughts to be read my many so I won't advertise this post but I needed to write these thoughts down and I would quite like to look back over them in times to come. I think of this blog as a diary, only one that I can't loose or spill anything over. It entertains me that people read it because although I do like to share my experiences, I genuinely mean for this to be just my own record of what I get up to. I hope my blog is enjoyed but like I say, this post is for me mostly. Also, I don't normally go in for writing soppy mush, or trying to write inspirational words. This winter is an exception! When life gets back to normal in a few weeks time, blog posts will revert back to silly, springer spaniel type exuberance and photos of pretty mountains.

It has been a roller-coaster ride of a year. In a jumbled attempt to sort it out in my head I am going to start at the end and conclude the saga of my Dad because these last few months, my life has very much revolved around his. Cancer has topped off a pretty crap sort of year for him. As we stand now, after trials and tribulations at school, he has quit his entire teaching career to start a new business on the remote Isle of Mull, his ex-wife (who he sadly half regrets leaving) is getting married and he is recovering from prostate cancer leaving him leaky and with little hope of a satisfactory sex life. Now, as a daughter, this has all been a lot to take in. Quite apart from having to consider the sex life of my father, I cannot begin to describe how it felt to have him diagnosed suddenly with cancer. I have missed work this winter but it has been amazing to spend time with Dad as he constantly gets better and better after surgery to remove said prostate. The support he has had is humbling and I'm so glad that he made it through with such relatively little trauma. Dad's excitement for going to Mull is infectious but it is nerve-wracking and I have every finger crossed that it will work out for him, that he will know what he is doing, and that it will make him happy. On top of that, it breaks my heart at the thought of him being lonely. It has been such a tough time for him and I love to think that he'll find a nice lady-friend up in Scotland and that he will be nothing but happy about my Mum getting married to someone else in April (because actually I think it is brilliant news!). So, this is why I am so jumbled, because parallel to all this anxiety, I have been in a very happy little bubble, all wrapped up in an extraordinary boyfriend and incredible worldwide adventures. I LOVE my job and I have lots more fun lined up. Trying to keep my head screwed on in any useful direction this winter has been interesting.

On a more positive note, looking back at my year is actually great fun. I started with a family ski trip which involved more hospital trips and snowmen than skiing but was somewhat fun nonetheless. I left my job at Kendal Climbing Wall for a hitch-hike to Sweden and granite crack climbing and then for a surreal week in the Bahamas celebrating my Uncle's wedding. Work started back up at Ru'a Fiola (which really deserves a whole blog post of it's own, one sentence does nothing to describe this place) and I worked up until September with a week off in the middle for gallivanting round the Dolomites on metal wires in wild thunderstorms. After Ru'a Fiola, a week in Turkey helped me not to miss Ali who disappeared back to Hong Kong where he had another autumn season to work, but three months later, there I was with him up in China on limestone pillars wearing lycra! The year ended in a remote bothy in Scotland with a rowdy bunch of mad-heads and a double-rainbow.

Looking forward now, the near future holds... a hotel. On Mull, 2 miles south of Bunessan, lies this hotel that is now officially owned by my father. He has very ambitious aspirations for it but it certainly has endless potential. It is right on an amazing beach and everywhere it is close to would make an outdoor enthusiast drool. I am still trying to justify this place in my head though. Its a mad undertaking for a nearly-60 year old but I can't help but wonder if he is exactly right. Anyway, I'm going to move his furniture in and house sit for him for the next few months and I hope to be getting lots of visitors and having all sorts of fun exploring.

In terms of my resolutions, I don't really have any in particular. I have never been much good at looking very far forward and I am not usually one for over-thinking feelings and expectations. It made my relationship with Ali much easier and kept me open minded about all the developments with my Dad  this winter. Although I feel like I lack ambition, I do seem to get by very well indeed and I do have various loose ideas for the coming few years. But who knows what time will really bring and a wise person once told me that money is just fun tokens. So after an emotional 5 months and still being the wonderful young and carefree age that I am, I shall just try and make the most of everything!

Oh, and heer are some photos of Miles and Bob climbing at Limekilns, near Edinburgh, recently